Sounds of the first morning of school

9 pm- Chirping of crickets, reminding you of the summer that has come to an end
2 am- Chiming of the hall clock, signaling each hour as it gets closer to the time you have to wake
5 am- Whirring of the shower, as my Dad or older siblings were up and getting ready
7 am- Zipping of backpacks, meaning it was time to leave the house— always a hard feat for me
7:12 am- Shifting of the stop-sign on the bus, being pushed by the busdriver as he opened the door
7:50 am- Clicking of the mic when it was switched on by the principal for morning announcements

It always started with the crickets. That sound is so strongly correlated with the first day of school to me, it makes my heart beat fast and gives me small amounts of anxiety. Not kidding.
Although this year I wasn't going to any classes, I felt the excitement and newness of today. I felt a desire to organize and plan, manage my time and create goals— I felt like reading lots and lots of books and buying new pens.

Those sounds all remind me of learning, of exploration, of anticipation, and of change. And despite the anxiety and nerves attached to some of them, they remind me of the possibility and probability of a bright tomorrow.

Now that I see you

 

At my family reunion this summer, Steven and I sang "Seen the Light" from Tangled.  

While sitting in an inflatable raft. 

With an oar.

We almost didn't participate, but at the last minute,

 with a slow-clap from the fam to get us to do it, 

we did. 

And let me tell you, the adrenaline rush I got after that performance was insane.  

Three-quarters of it was because my love for Steven about quadrupled

as I looked into his eyes and sang that song. 

And the fact that he participated and sang with me. 

See, when I first saw Tangled, I totally cried.

I bought it for Steven for his birthday shortly after.

So this was kind of a dream come true. 

And the words could not be more applicable for how I feel about the boy in the raft.

fore.giveness

Today at church I heard a talk that had me scribbling in the margins of an old handout so I could remember what he was saying.
It gripped my heart and had my mind reeling to process the words, the truths and the beauty of it.
The talk was on forgiveness.

He started with an analogy of a chemical plant that had a pipe that put waste into a river and had another pipe in the same river to bring water into the plant for energy.
Normally there are problems when a company puts waste into a river (pollution) and whether it be through taxes or laws or whatever, they try and prevent pollution being caused by the chemical plant.
However, if the plant puts their own water in-put pipe downstream from their waste out-put pipe, they are likely to solve on their own the problems that would arise from pollution.
They don't want to in-put polluted water into their plant.

So it is with forgiveness and choosing to not take offense. If we forgive people in the first place, we solve our own problem of carrying a heavy heart.

Most of the time we take offense because of FAE- fundamental attribution error. We consistently make up stories about people linking their faults to their personalities. We tell ourselves that we know their intentions, and they are bad people. We tell ourselves the girls in relief society who are whispering, must be talking about us; therefore, they are stuck-up brats. We tell ourselves the guy driving the BMW who just cut us off in traffic, is a rich, spoiled punk.

Whereas, we link our faults to our circumstance. We don't allow other people to be human and imperfect, but we make exceptions for ourselves.

If we give people the benefit of the doubt; if we let it go; if we consider forgiveness to be fore.giveness- doing it be.fore., we save ourselves the grief and heartache downstream when we refuse to forgive.

This man's story has changed my life. Watch this and it will change yours too.
 

Your time

 

// source

My gosh, I love this quote. I've given myself grief over past decisions and over the life I could have/should have lived. I could have/should have finished the BFA. I could have/should have tried to play college volleyball. I could have/should have done more internships, applied to law school or med school or both, had a baby or two, started my own business. The list goes on. 

A beautiful realization is best put into words by Gandalf. 

Yes, I did type the word Gandalf.

All we have to decide is what to do 

with the time that is given to you.

and from Mr. Jobs, that is determined by the heart and intuition and 

nothing. else. matters.