my New York State of Mind

Our time here is coming to a close and so I've started reflecting on the city.
Oh, the city.
I find our being here kind of ironic because I told myself I would never live here.
Or at least work here. The lifestyle, the pressure, the busy-ness, the stress.
I didn't want it.

Living here has helped me realize some of those things are true. It is busy. It is stressful.
It is kind of a crazy lifestyle. Amidst all the busy, stress and craziness though there is good— and there is strength.

I've seen it in the Harlem 1st ward when visitors are introduced and the whole congregations says "Welcome!" in unison.
Or the time a stranger ran off a subway to give my friend her phone she had left.
Or the beautiful music that echoes under bridges and carries through parks and makes real life seem like a musical.
Or the physical energy that comes from walking through Times Square, or the wonder and grandeur of buildings, bridges and museums— it is good.

The good shines so because people here live a hard life. My sister described it as full of discomfort compared to many places. People stand in hot underground stations waiting and missing trains that are sometimes really full of really cranky people. People walk for blocks and blocks carrying twenty pounds of groceries home to pretty small apartments that often don't have air conditioning. People are alone, away from their families and home countries. They work long hours and have long commutes and wake up the next day to do the same thing again.
People here wear the hardness on their faces.
The elderly carry it on their slumped shoulders and curved backs.
The homeless drag it around in garbage bags filled with bottles and soda cans.
And at first glance to an outsider it looks scary, and it looks harsh.
They don't know whether to look away or stare until they make sense of it.

This day-to-day life is not hard compared to some on the global spectrum, but I have respect for it. I have respect for those who choose it, and those who live it because it is what they have. I have learned from it. I will miss the city of New York.